Living apart is no easy task and may forever feel unnatural, but it’s important to make it work if it is necessary for work or otherwise. We believe that if you are intentional and communicate that it can become not only doable, but a positive thing for your relationship and life.
Over the years, we have had to survive a long distance relationship a couple of different times and we are at it again. We wanted to share with you the tips and things that we have learned in hopes that maybe it won’t be as hard for you. I don’t think it will ever be “easy” but I do believe that coming together will allow it to work FOR you and your significant other instead of against y’all.
Austin and I talk all about our tips and experience in episode 005 of the Industrial Tradition Podcast. Listen here, your favorite podcast app, or watch the uncut version on Youtube.
Top Tips:
Connect through video - this has been huge for us. There is something about seeing each other face to face that allows for a better connection and cuts out any questioning you have about authenticity (facial expressions, tones of voice, etc. that can hinder clear communication) when only talking verbally.
Know your why - On the hard days it is especially important to know why you are doing this as a collective. Make this clear and lean on it during those lonely nights that seem like they never end. Maybe it is to set up your future or to become financially free. Have your reason and talk about it often.
It’s not forever - for most this long distance thing isn’t forever. If it is and you don’t love it then I think you need to confront that head on, but otherwise this is typically just a season in life. Know your end goal (your why) and work diligently towards it. Enjoy your current everyday, but be reminded that the hard parts of being separate are only temporary.
Conversations and a honesty sandwich - Communication is key even more when miles separate you. You have to get honest with yourself about your feels and needs and then communicate those clearly to your partner. No human reads minds well so speaking your truth is necessary for a successful long distance relationship.
Show you care and still meet their love language - Long languages are a great way to show love the way it matters most to the other person. If you will take this information and take it distance friendly then we believe you will continue to stay connected while apart.
Therapy/community - Distance in a relationship is hard and unnatural. Don’t hesitate to find community support or seek counseling. This can be individually (like I have done) or as a couple. Either way is sure to set you on a path of clarity and success. Reach out!
Show notes:
Key Points From This Episode:
What Austin and I do and some background to our relationship. (05:05)
Getting ready for turning thirty and a new era. (06:11)
The launch of Industrial Tradition and what this changed. (07:59)
Lessons we learned in the last few years about running a business. (09:28)
The video I posted when Austin left and the reactions to it. (12:12)
The great help that FaceTime has been in the separation we experience. (14:41)
Finding comfort in familiarity and getting used to things. (15:58)
The tools that have made this issue more manageable. (17:28)
Comparing pipeline couples and military families. (22:13)
Knowing why you might have to live apart. (23:09)
How I went back to therapy and the reasons I advocate for it. (25:59)
Looking to the future and how we plan to make this work. (28:05)
Tips to others who might be confronted with a similar situation. (30:09)
The time Austin had to mail me a key to move a trailer. (33:08)
The importance of honesty and realistic expectations. (37:18)
Independence and finding happiness within yourself. (39:08)
Austin answers the three questions again! (45:40)
Tweetables:
“Any time you have experience in something and you know what to expect, you have an idea of learning how to communicate through it.” — @industrial_trad [0:16:00.2]
“You don’t marry someone to live your life separate from them and not sleep in the same bed and not see each other physically for months.” — @industrial_trad [0:21:21.2]
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Industrial Tradition — https://industrialtradition.com/
Industrial Tradition on Youtube — https://www.youtube.com/c/austinandkayla
Industrial Tradition on Instagram —https://www.instagram.com/industrial_tradition/
Industrial Tradition Episode 02 — https://industrialtradition.com/blogs/news/002
Austin Ross — https://www.arosswelding.com/
FaceTime — https://www.imore.com/facetime
The 5 Love Languages — http://www.5lovelanguages.com/
Uncut on Youtube [CLICK HERE]